Like a Bug At long last, the market has spoken. As usual, the only ones who aren't listening are the Republicans in Congress and in the media. One need not place an ear to the ground to catch this vibe. It's actually big news on Wall Street. General Motors just posted an absolutely miserable quarter, which comes after a rough year overall. The problem is as clear as a facial tic, but it's considered rude to stare. The rising price of gasoline has quashed sales of sport utility vehicles, which have long been the lifeblood of American automakers. People are trading in their gas-guzzlers, in accordance with the laws of supply and demand. Just a year after Nissan went full-size with their Titan pickup truck and Armada SUV, consumers are shunning mighty V8 engines for "hybrids" which get upwards of 40 miles per gallon. This leaves Ford scrambling to stuff sewing machine engines into cars other than the Escape, the small SUV for which their hybrid engine was initially designed. After all, they've got to do something or they'll be wiped out by their overseas competitiors, which have stepped up production of hybrids in order to shorten the waiting lists. Those who ply their trade in selling inefficient American vehicles are left on the hook. Reportedly, Hummers and other behemoths are sitting on dealer lots for almost a month longer than they used to, and the hulks that are being traded in aren't going anywhere, even as the price falls through the floor. So how did the American people come to their senses so far ahead of the government and its corporate concubines? That almost never happens. For years, Rush Limbaugh and his like-minded minions have stood fast against even the smallest hike of CAFE standards by Congress. Don't do that, they said - drill for more oil instead. Conservation is (as Dick Cheney once proclaimed) a virtue, not a policy. Automakers kept cranking out high-horsepower heavyweights because, according to conservative logic, that's what people wanted to drive. Anyone who disputed that notion was shouted down as a Kyoto-loving eco-terrorist who just doesn't understand capitalism - as if wanting a more stable economy (and cleaner air) were signs of an irrational mind. However, most everyone quickly caught on to the fact their "fuel bill" had swollen up like a sprained ankle. This is what happens when you offer society a chance to pump gas with the swipe of a credit card. Nobody deals in cash anymore, which has removed the "death by a thousand cuts" formula from the equation. Now the bill comes around once a month, and it has doubled in the last two and a half years. With no end in sight to high pump prices, some major players in the economy are flagging. FedEx, UPS, and the Post Office are watching their profits dribble out of the nozzle. But there's a fiscal law for that, too - the price of shipping is going to rise. And the price of anything that gets delivered, from appliances to apples, azaleas to anchovy pizzas, will have little choice but to follow suit. Now, although Congress has not budged on fuel efficiency requirements, Americans are docking their land yachts and "going green". But do you hear those conservative windbags cheering us on, saying that the market has spoken, that this downsizing trend among car buyers is an indication of a stronger and more virtuous America? No. They're being strangely silent about all this, because they know what's really about to happen. Oil futures will become less relevant to our daily lives. We'll use our newfound savings as a buffer against this oil-based Bush economy, giving us more money with which to feed our families, and less with which to line Corporate America's pockets. Drilling in ANWR, or anywhere else, will suddenly seem like a stupid idea. In other words, reality will set in. To conservatives, that's worse than murder. For my part, I intend to take advantage of this market. My "commute" to work is so short that I don't need a vehicle, but since the price is collapsing out from under these steel leviathans, I might as well get myself one. I'm picturing a three-quarter-ton Suburban, four-wheel drive with a 454 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carb. That way, I'll have a distinct advantage over all these neo-conservationists as they whisper along in their new hybrids. Whatever else you do with your driving habits, take this to heart: Stay out of my way, or I'll crush you like a VW bug. It's worth three bucks a gallon, even four, to be able to do that. After all, it's only money. Paul Heller 04/13/05 << back to the archives
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