Standing Pat Three cheers for noted televangelist and diamond huckster Pat Robertson, who went a damned long way toward proving every point I've ever made about certain factions of conservative Christianity. He did this by suggesting, on the air, that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be assassinated, ostensibly by the United States government. With that, he steps into his rightful place in the world of those who use their religious bully pulpits to preach hatred and violence. Such is the greatest threat to the American dream, and it has always been portrayed as a trait endemic to our enemies, not to ourselves. In Iran, for instance, the ruling clerics have been railing against the Great White Satan for decades. Robertson's comments, made on his program, The 700 Club, might as well have been broadcast by al-Jazeera. His motivations, though, were not so much religious as they were political. Since the principals have all clammed up about this story, Robertson's motive for witnessing against one of the more notable of the Ten Commandments remains a mystery for now. The public - particularly those confused people who pay attention to televangelists - can only assume that he has lost his mind. And that may well be a valid concern. As the tapes have rolled over the years, Robertson has said some pretty crazy things, no question. Urging the administration (with all the righteousness a bagful of campaign contribution receipts can muster) to break the law and kill the duly elected leader of a sovereign nation might not cross any lines, at least not in the legal sense. As Donald Rumsfeld mentioned in his response, private citizens say all kinds of things these days. The Vice President of Venezuela, Jose Vicente Rangel, is vehement in his assertion that U.S. law "condemns and punishes statements of this nature." He asked (as if someone might answer), "What is the U.S. government going to do regarding this criminal statement?" Then Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, of all people, chimed in with, "Only God can punish crimes of such magnitude." This might just be evidence to support the long-held stereotype of hot blooded Latins. I'm certainly not going to rip on Pat Robertson for saying such ridiculous things. No one ought to burden the FCC with a sheaf of petitions to remove him from television, either. This is America. Even if the government is influenced by conservative religious leaders like him, he still has the right to blabber away like an insane person. That's the real difference between America and theocratic Statist Islam, now aped so impressively by Robertson. Taking him off the air simply isn't an option. If anything, we should keep the cameras on the man 24 hours a day. He's an excellent example of why conservatives are incapable of leading this country to victory in the war on terror, or in any other endeavor: They're nuts. If you disagree, you probably haven't seen the transcripts: "We have the ability to take him (Chavez) out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," he said. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." (To the extent that we don't need any more $200 billion wars, he's right - on that much, we all can agree. Still, you can imagine the bewilderment of everyone in the room, hoping that Pat might move along quickly to another subject... But no.) "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop." Oil shipments? Cuckoo, cuckoo... Even the company responsible for airing The 700 Club was embarrassed. ABC Family, which got stuck with Robertson when it consumed FOX Family awhile back, could only say it was "contractually obligated to air The 700 Club and has no editorial control over views expressed by the host or guests." Also included was some clear language: "ABC Family strongly rejects the views expressed by Pat Robertson." But they're not taking him off the air, and his buddy George W. Bush would never pull the rug out from under him anyway. The cameras will roll, the lights will come on and the checks will be put in the mail. Life will proceed as usual for Pat Robertson, and a very strange life it will be. In the information age, that can only be a good thing. Paul Heller 8/24/05 << back to the archives
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