The Real Brownie Brownie, you've done a heck of a job. Not in the instance of Hurricane Katrina - God, no. As gently as circumstances have rounded out with regard to the death toll, the city of New Orleans remains flooded in many parts. The infrastructure damage will probably wind up being the most costly aspect of the recovery. Still, the wild tales of civil unrest, not to mention numerous federal operational hiccups, have resulted in Bush's opinion polls taking on ever more water. That's where Mike Brown, the human bilge pump, comes in. You sports fans are probably thinking of the great Chicago Bears' safety, but this Mike Brown is a totally different guy. By "different", I mean he is simply not like anybody that you know. Admittedly, I don't know who you know. Maybe you know some pretty famous people. Who doesn't? Maybe you don't know anyone outside of your immediate family - it's just a guess. But how many of your friends have run those fancy Arabian horse shows? And how many of those drift-through-your-transom acquaintances have ever worked on a political campaign for the president of the United States? As with other top officials at the Federal Emergency Management Administration, Brownie didn't really have much, if any, experience in managing emergency situations, without making a distinction between natural or man-made disasters. Brownie has now stepped down as head of FEMA, with an able fireman (NOT named Bernard Keryk) replacing him. It was predictable, it was long overdue, and it was probably in his job description from the very beginning. Brownie was never in as much control as his credentials indicated. Whereas he listed himself an "assistant city manager" at one point in his career, his superiors amended his actual duties to those of an "assistant to the city manager", a post that was compared to an internship. This makes sense to most Americans. Interns, however they get there, often find themselves at the beck and call of the president. At least he has retained his conservative principles and priorities. As he was being stage-hooked from the scene of Katrina's wrath just days before his "resignation", Brown expressed relief at being able to get back to that pitcher of margaritas he had obviously left behind. As FEMA's new director, R. David Paulison (recommended to the president by Brother Jeb) has his work cut out for him, too. Like Brownie reaching for the salt and sliced limes, Paulison is well qualified to do what he does. Once he sobers up, perhaps the White House can find Brown some other kind of work. After all, the GOP has a broad agenda, if not exactly a mandate anymore. Since he's apparently an equine-savvy kind of guy, the Pentagon could possibly benefit from his expertise - we need nothing in Iraq today so much as the Cavalry. Or Bush might find some space for him on the Securities and Exchange Commission, where his overseer mentality and attention to detail would be welcomed. Whatever else he does, Brownie has already done a heck of a job, worthy of many hearty slaps on the back. His efforts for the government will be appreciated, for in the long run they will have proven fruitful. He performed one of the most noble and difficult tasks ever to face the underling of a chief executive by acting as a human shield. The polls showed that Americans wanted a head to roll, and one did. His mission accomplished, the former FEMA director can leave without much more than an semi-sympathetic shrug of the shoulders. In parting, he said, "I think it's in the best interest of the agency, and the best interest of the president to [quit] and get the media focused on the good things that are going on, instead of me." Yeah. That's the important part. Focusing the media. On the good things. The results on the ground, the horror show that New Orleans became, showed just how much he really cared. His department's failure is but a microcosm of the administration's failures, which is why Bush's approval ratings have slid through the floor. Don't worry about Mike Brown, though. As with all Friends of Dubya, he's rich. Like everyone else in charge, he didn't really want the responsibility - he was just there for the title and the money. Sorry it didn't work out. Whether he quit or got fired is a mere matter of semantics. Either way, it wouldn't make any difference to a guy like Brownie. Even if his employment had been officially (and deservedly) terminated, it would have been no problem... He'd just throw that in with all the other lies on his resume. Paul Heller 9/13/05 << back to the archives
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